Luna Lovegood and the Death Eaters
by Lyla93
Summary: When the Death Eaters accidentally kidnap Luna Lovegood, they end up in over their heads in all sorts of new trouble. Will Lucius finally admit Snorkacks exist? Will Draco ever stop stalking Voldemort? Will Macnair learn how to dance? Find out NOW!


Luna Lovegood and the Death Eaters

by Lyla93

**Chapter One: The Failed Kidnapping of Ginny Weasley.  
**

It was time for another meeting. Shadows, seemingly appearing from nowhere, gathered silently in the mist. A few of them glanced around, trying to locate the man who had brought them together.

Antonin Dolohov noticed this behavior, and smiled under his mask. "Newbies," He whispered into Yaxleys ear. "Everyone knows the Dark Lord loves making an entrance."

Yaxley shivered and pulled his robes tighter around himself. "I really could care less about the Dark Lord's arrival preferences. I just wish we didn't have to meet in creepy graveyards all the time. It's freezing out here!"

Lucius, overhearing, laughed out loud. Several of the senior Eaters glared at him disapprovingly. His guffaw's choked to a stop.

Macnair scowled at all of them, which wasn't unusual at all. He generally was scowling. "This meeting better go fast. I left my Sims on at home."

"Errr, Sims?" Lucius questioned.

"Yeah, I just got this hella cool Muggle game called 'The Sims 3". You can create people, give them sweet outfits, and control their lives."

"Well, I feel sorry for them, then. You can't even control your bladder, much less your life."

"PSH, you're just jealous Lucius. The Sims is the greatest game ever invented."

Yaxley smiled in a superior fashion. "Geez, man up Macnair. At least play a cool muggle game. World of Warcraft, for example."

"You go on W.o.W., Yaxley? Seriously?"

"Yeah!" He said defensibly. "And it's hella cooler than The Sims!"

PING!

Right in the center of the Death Eaters huddled group appeared Lord Voldemort. A few of the 'newbies' flinched.

"Master," Lucius bowed. "We are here to serve you."

"Suck-up." Dolohov muttered under his breath.

The Dark Lord paused dramatically before speaking in his usual whispery voice. "I have called my you, my loyal Death Eaters, here today so that I can inform you of my brilliant plan to take over the Ministry and-"

"And kill Harry Potter." Droned the Death Eaters.

Voldemort frowned. "I will not tolerate this attitude from the lot of you. You used to hang on my every word. Why are you being such downers?"

The Death Eaters were silent, unsure of how to answer.

Peter raised his hand timidly like a small child in elementary school. "Ermm, I think that we should do something as a group to encourage a sense of family and togetherness."

Dolohov squinted his eyes suspiciously. "Have you been watching Oprah again?"

"NO!.. well, maybe. Kind of.. Yes. "

"Geez, you're such a pansy, Peter!" Yaxley taunted.

"Pansy Peter, pansy Peter, pansy Peter!" Chanted the rest of the 'Eaters.

"SILENCE!" Voldemort roared. "You all bicker like a group of Kindergartners. We WILL do a fun activity together to give you all some more, erm, enthusiasm. But, first we must start on my evil scheme to get back at Harry Potter."

* * *

_One evil scheme later..._

"Sucess!!" Exclaimed Lucius. "Master, we have the girl!"

"Excellent! Bring her over here!!"

Goyle Sr. set down the potato sack he was holding, and Voldemort eagerly peered inside. A girl with strange earrings and dirty blonde hair was lying unconscious on her side, drooling.

"You idiot! This isn't the Weasley girl!"

The stunned bunch scratched their heads. "B-b-but," Peter stuttered. "We went to the Muggle village you told us about. Then we searched on the outside on town for a very strange, obviously magical house. And then we took the only girl living there. Right?"

They all nodded in agreement.

"Yup."

"Yeah, that's what we did."

"Most certainly."

The Dark Lord crossed his arms. "Well, it seems as if you found the wrong house and totally ruined the plan. Great job, guys."

"Thanks!" Said Crabbe Sr..

Everyone ignored him.

"Hello! I seem to be in my pajamas. Are we having a slumber party?" The girl was sitting criss-cross applesauce on the ground, looking pleasantly surprised.

The Death Eaters traded looks. They had all struck her simultaneously with 'Stupefy'. She shouldn't have woken for hours.

Voldemort crouched down in front of her. "And what is your name, little girl?"

"Luna, Luna Lovegood!" She replied. "I was surprised you didn't ask me on the way here. Then again, none of you were talking at all. It was quite boring, actually, so i took a nap."

"Oh, well I'm very sorry to hear that." Voldemort replied before turning around once more to confer with his minions. "How hard did you say you hit her head, again?"

"We didn't hit her head at all, master!" Lucius admitted.

"Oh shit."

* * *

_A few minutes later...._

"What are we going to do with her, my lord?" Asked some random 'Eater.

Voldemort sighed. "I guess we'll just have to adapt the plan. Harry Potter knows this girl, correct? Maybe his hero instinct will emerge anyhow and he'll play right into our trap!"

"Trap??"

"Yes, trap. What, did you think we just kidnapped people for no reason?"

"Well, what about him?" The Deatheater gestured toward a blonde teenager who was chillin with the others, a satisfied smirk on his face. "I'm fairly sure he's not a Death Eater!"

Voldemort sighed. "No, Draco's not kidnapped. He just keeps following us around. Can't seem to get rid of him. I think he's obsessed with me."

The loyal minion gave Voldemort a sympathetic look. "You should really get a restraining order."

"I've actually considered it. The only thing is, last time I walking into the Ministry, Dumbledore showed up and tried to kick my ass. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm not welcome there."

Suddenly, the mistakenly kidnapped girl skipped over to the Dark Lord. "Here's your net!" She said, thrusting a small net thing into his hands.

He glanced up, and almost had a heart attack. Lucky he didn't have a heart, muahahaha!

Almost the entire crew was running through the graveyard, with ridiculous looking glasses on, swinging around nets.

"What the HELL are you doing!!" Voldemort shrieked. If anyone saw his Death Eaters behaving in such an unscary manner, it would kill his reputation.

Macnair stopped his frolicking and looked over toward his master. "We're catching wrackspurts! And it's lucky Luna had all these Spectespecs, or we wouldn't even be able to see them!"

And so it began.

**REVEIW PLEASE**

**next up..... Voldemort finally defeats Harry.... kind of....  
**

**peace out,  
**

**Lyla93**


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